ASK :: Sexuality, Singleness and Marriage


Over the next 3 weeks, we’re wrapping up Ask Anything with the 3 most requested questions, all revolving around sex, singleness, dating relationships and marriage:

  • What does Scripture say about me being single/married? (6/5)
  • What does the Bible have to say about our sexuality? (6/12)
  • Does the Bible have anything to say about gender and sexual identity? (6/19)

There is a weightiness to these topics that just wasn’t as felt in many of the others. These topics are touchy (pun intended) because they are so much more personal. They are difficult to tackle for a variety of reasons, not least of which is that the Church has (at best) a mixed record of treating them with the honesty and respect they deserve and we genuinely desire to improve that record to the best of our ability.

But there is something else that makes these topics especially challenging…

Very little of the Ask Anything series so far has had the potential to incite anger or offense. Disagreement? Sure. We have a pretty diverse community, with people coming from all sorts of different religious, familial, economic and educational backgrounds. It’s impossible to expect everyone to be perfectly on the same page – and that’s a good thing!  Yet the topics of singleness, dating, marriage, sexuality, etc. are one of those extremely sensitive areas where people from all across the map will leave or avoid a church that they sense will not affirm their romantic choices or sexual preferences.

My wife is pretty amazing. Like any couple, we have arguments, fights and other marital squabbles that rapidly dispel the myth that married life is easy… and while no one enjoys arguing, I honestly wouldn’t change any of it. It’s simply a reality of two broken people being in increasingly deeper relationship with each other, and that ever-increasing depth is a reward well worth the battle. As I’ve reflected on this, I am increasingly grateful that my wife does not accept me for who I am at the expense of who I could be. In other words, I am grateful that many of our arguments (though perhaps not in the moment) begin because she loves me too much to let me act the fool or continue down a path that is not in my best interest, and I’m too bull-headed to humbly and graciously accept her rebuke.

At City Church, it is our deepest hope and prayer that everyone who walks through the door feels loved, cherished and accepted by God for who they are. Because of this, and not despite this, we also hope and pray that we – as a community and as individual people – come to know that God loves us too much to leave us where we are. He does not accept us for who we are at the expense of who we could be, knowing that our joy and satisfaction in all things will only increase as we grow in deeper relationship with Him.

So, as we end this series with some pretty weighty and personal introspection, it is vitally important that we remember that, though we may find God’s guidance to be difficult to swallow or downright offensive, it is for our ultimate good and satisfaction. If that’s hard to believe, that’s fine. God’s ok with your questions, doubts and struggles, and so are we. We simply encourage you to keep asking your questions and have an ear open for God’s answers as we wrestle through them together.

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About Brad Edwards

My amazing wife, Hannah, and I live in beautiful Westminster, CO. I am a Pastor, Chaplain in the Army National Guard and Photographer with an addiction to craft beer. View all posts by Brad Edwards

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